Continuing Sage of Christmas Lights

I’ve always wondered if farmers are busy during the year. Think about their job: it takes a few days to plant the seeds, they water for an hour a day for a few months, then they spend a week harvesting. The remainder of the time, they must be surfing the internet or watching cable television. Then, I visited my cousin Monty, an Idaho farmer. No matter what day of the week, he starts at dawn and finishes late—dog tired and looking like a human dust bowl. But his skin is tan from days in the sun and his frame is lean without the two months pregnant look of most men our age. He bites his lip with concern as he looks at the sky but his eyes always smile. He may never be wealthy in the monetary sense, but I doubt very much that he would ever trade his tractor for the bustle of Silicon Valley.

So how does this relate to SLNA you ask? Farming is a lot like tending to A Proper Display of Lights—it’s not as easy as it looks. The uninformed drive by and see lights twinkling in the cool December air and think that once we plug in all of the extension cords, we can sit back with our eggnog and listen to Mannheim Steamroller Christmas Angel. They have no idea the electrical re-routing that occurs or the hours of tracing a dead line in the drizzle. They can’t imagine the incredible patience required to painstakingly replace ninety-nine bulbs on a string of one hundred to discover the dead one would have been easy to find if I started at the other end. The uninformed don’t understand the financial impact of the quarters dropped in The Jar that could pay for an ivy league tuition. Or, the bartering costs with daughters who have to tackle the cobwebs behind the freezer to switch the circuit breaker for the fourth time… the naive have NO IDEA! When the famous line was written, It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, I’m sure he was describing his frustrations with holiday displays. Murphy, I’m convinced, invented Christmas lights the day before he parted this Earth, to ensure the immortality of his law. When the season is over, I’m calling Monty to see if he wants to trade a U-Haul load of lights for his tractor. After this, farming seems like a snap.